At 1am he was awakened by a blaring alarm. This wasn’t a nationwide alert that Queen Nicola had another coronavirus update to make

by Colin Campbell

A RELATIVE travelled north for a visit on Wednesday before it became illegal to drive from Perth to Inverness. He and his wife had been due to come up next Wednesday to stay for a week at the Premier Inn at Tomnachurich, formerly the Loch Ness House Hotel, which still looks quite posh as you drive by.

They’d got a room there for £28 a night. Twenty eight quid a night? You couldn’t have got a bunk in a 12 berth dorm in the Ho Ho hostel for that amount last year. But now the hotel is being denied even that minute source of income.

Instead he booked into a riverside hotel, for the Ho Ho amount of £35 a night. He wasn’t complaining about that price but no wonder our entire hospitality industry and the jobs that go with it are going up the swanee.

At 1am he was awakened by a blaring alarm. This wasn’t a nationwide alert that Queen Nicola had another coronavirus update to make on her state television. But never say never.

It was a fire alarm.

So he found himself outside on the banks of the Ness with other guests as it was checked out. But even there, he said, he was aware of getting hostile looks from people wearing face masks, because he wasn’t wearing one. That is, from people who have been successfully indoctrinated by the state on the need to wear protective face masks at all times in case you catch a disease that in these parts is infecting around 15 in every 100,000 people, even at one in the morning, with a wind blowing down the Ness.

Don’t worry about getting burned alive in an hotel inferno – just be sure you don’t forget your face mask!

It turned out to be a false alarm.

He brought with him a shoal of Christmas presents. There may be a festive bundle heading back in the other direction when it is no longer illegal to drive from Inverness to Perth, maybe around Easter if Queen Nicola permits it.

Is she allowing Christmas or is she cancelling it? I’ve lost track.

In the current febrile atmosphere, I’m not sure cancelling it wouldn’t be a good idea anyway.

You might on the big day find yourself in the company of a fervent, mouthy nationalist, and for some of us that wouldn’t go down well at all, especially if the drink started flowing. In the current febrile atmosphere – merriness, I think not.

Rather than risk it I’d rather stay at home and celebrate with a Tesco’s frozen chicken dinner and a can of Tennents lager.

And no wonder tensions are rising. Just take a look at Drew Hendry’s Twitter site. Planted near the top of it by our caring, sharing MP is a slab of text which reflects his anguished concern over mental health in rural areas.

He is so very concerned about our mental health during the pandemic.

And yet what does he want to do? He wants us to emerge with a wave of relief sometime next year from the most gruelling experience of our lives and drag us straight into another one, a 2021 independence referendum. We’d be freed of worrying about the virus and immediately be assailed by another wave of worries relating to pensions, mortgages, savings, jobs and the entire future of the country.

What the hell would that do to our mental health? Whatever’s left of it after the virus would be in smithereens on the floor by the time that was over.

But that’s what Hendry and Ian Blackford and their extended SNP gang are aiming for.

Would you want to spend Christmas in the company of that kind of nationalist hypocrisy? No, me neither.

So for her next whim maybe Queen Nicola should just go ahead and cancel Christmas, so we can at least be sure of the company we keep, or don’t keep.

 

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