THE MISSING MILLION: NATIONALISTS CLAIMED SCOTLAND WOULD BE SWAMPED BY PROPAGANDA SHEET GOING TO HOUSEHOLDS EVERYWHERE. HOW MANY HAVE EVEN SEEN IT?

by Colin Campbell

QUEEN Nicola’s popularity has dropped like a stone by 40 points compared with this time last year and, following a consistent trend, support for independence continues to slide, according to the latest poll.

This suggests that the selfie inspired limelight she tried to seize at the recent COP26 jamboree didn’t exactly bathe her in glory when it came to impressing people.

Precocious teenager Greta Thurnberg, senile old Joe Biden and outgoing German Chancellor Angela Merkel among others, she managed to clutch their hands and get a few moments of time with each of them, to add to that star studded photo album she’ll look back on so fondly in her old age.

But wasn’t there another more substantial initiative that was supposed to give some kind of fillip to the independence cause?

A picture of Queen Nicola with her face enshrined in a moonshot picture of the entire globe adorned an eight page propaganda sheet that was supposed to reach households across Scotland, in a joint venture by the SNP, the vile National and something called “Business in Scotland”.

It was claimed that a million copies were being printed and distributed by an army of volunteers across Scotland.

A million is enough to swamp the country, and be entirely unavoidable.

Was that number ever produced? According to the National it was. So we’ll just have to believe them and take it at face value, in the same way we take the lies, distortions and fabrications it produces on a daily basis at face value.

But if they were printed, where have they gone? As of now, they can be referred to as the missing million. No one I know has set eyes on the thing, not in Inverness, or Dingwall, or Forres, or Perth, or Thurso, or Edinburgh.

Some probably were printed “to breathe new life into the independence cause”.

But it’s likely that it’s the army of volunteers that’s gone missing, because it was never assembled in the first place.

The hope was that bundles of copies would be distributed to SNP branches across Scotland and members would wrap up against the winter chill and hit the streets with their well filled satchels and shove them through letterboxes everywhere.

But with enthusiasm for marching at the lowest point in years, it’s reasonable to assume that enthusiasm for distributing is roughly in the same place.

Especially with pictures of “that bloody woman” plastered across the front of it, a woman many nats, particularly the more committed activists, have lost faith in to deliver the “freedom” they crave.

They’ve done all the legwork in trying to boost the cause at local level, but now see the independence movement turned into the independence industry, where a very small number of MPs, MSPs and well paid staff led by Sturgeon, are doing very well indeed financially from “the dream that will never die” and look quite contented to stay in that lucrative situation.

Sturgeon and her acolytes have led them up and down the hill with referendum pledges time and time again. They are now no longer willing to expend shoe leather going up and down streets delivering more false promises from their masters.

That’s the most likely explanation for the missing million.

I’ve actually seen the eight page propaganda sheet. Its star contributors are Sturgeon herself, trainee accountant finance secretary Kate “more, more, more” Forbes, arch old bore Mike Russell, Green Leaderene weirdo Lorna Slater, and the leader of Business for Scotland, a man with a double barrelled name who runs his organisation from a whelk stall in Dunoon.

They present “the case for independence”. If I was to sum up the content, it envisages a new “wellbeing” society – the word is repeated time and time again – where people shape their wellbeing around the jobs they do and hours they work, with their personal wellbeing being by far the priority, while they earn the same money.

A society with health and education services unrivalled anywhere in the world, enhancing feelings of safety, security and wellbeing; a nice home guaranteed for everyone, including the tens of thousands of EU migrants they want to bring in, to enhance personal wellbeing; a society devoid of any drink or drugs problems, which would be unacceptable to wellbeing; and a generally happy and contented populace basking in a carbon neutral, net zero sense of wellbeing.

Essentially the same old tosh, exaggerated and stretched beyond parody. And no, there’s no point in asking how all this would come about. There’s no explanation offered. In an independent Scotland, it’s just the way it would be.

But “I’m going nowhere,” Sturgeon said in response to down to earth doubts about her future. And neither under her leadership is the independence cause.

And to think a year ago she was so popular she had her own daily TV show on the BBC, with an army of devoted followers hanging on her every word, and those followers supremely confident that the SNP would gain a “supermajority” in the May elections, and that we might even be “free” by now.

How times change. And you have to admit that any of those followers prepared to trudge the streets on these cold November nights with a satchel of worthless propaganda sheets to distribute is certainly an exceptional individual, whether because he or she is incredibly resilient, determined, or certifiable, who can say?

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