Knaves and scoundrels aim to lead us on a Voyage of Discovery to land of milk and honey

by Colin Campbell

I’M not too well up on the SNP ferries fiasco. The only ferry I know much about is the old Kessock Ferry, and Cap’n Sturgeon and her Parahandy crew wouldn’t even have been able to get that right.

Cap’n Sturgeon would have taken too many cars on board and forgotten to charge any fares. Helmsman Drew Hendry would have steered the vessel on to the rocks even though there weren’t any rocks to steer it on to, and chief stoker Ian ‘Tubby’ Blackford would have collapsed in an exhausted heap after heaving in a few shovels of coal.

Bosun John Swinney would have got his schedules mixed up, refreshments girl Kate Forbes would have forgotten the lemonade and sweets prices, and man overboard Derek Mackay would have been washed up lifeless on the North Kessock foreshore.

Is Derek Mackay still the man they’ve pushed overboard in the ferries fiasco? This sad character, former SNP Scottish Finance Minister, is just getting over the shame of being exposed for sending dubious texts to a teenage boy, and now Sturgeon and her crew try to ram him with the blame for all this as well.

The Parahandy crew were genial, cordial worthies. Sturgeon and her shipmates are about as genial and cordial as cutthroat Somalian pirates.

The fiasco centres on massive contracts being awarded for ferries against the advice of advisers who knew what they were talking about, so that Sturgeon could make a big announcement at an SNP party conference. Sturgeon trying to gain the rapture of the Chief Gathering of Face Painters?


It has now degenerated into a saga of chaos and delay costing the taxpayer tens of millions of pounds in excess of what the cost was supposed to be. Ferries are now having to be built in Turkey.

And none of the current crew are willing to accept the blame. The hapless, miserable Mackay seems to have been chosen as a convenient scapegoat on the basis that he would still be too humiliated and contrite to fight back.

But now the blame is being shifted around like chairs sliding across the deck of the Titanic. Cap’n Sturgeon has stepped forward to take responsibility, as she sees it, by bravely stating, “I didn’t say ‘don’t go ahead’”.

Memo to mariners everywhere: if you’re in charge on the upper deck and your vessel hits an iceberg, take responsibility by telling the subsequent board of inquiry: “I didn’t say ‘take evasive action’”.

That’ll get you off the Captain Hook.

Never mind the ferries fiasco. Displaying that kind of steel, Sturgeon should have been a Commander on the Atlantic convoys.

Kate Forbes has made remarks about a billionaire businessman involved in the fiasco which has caused him to warn her they are defamatory.

Would he sue her? That would be a fine predicament for the novice Finance Minister to take with her on her upcoming maternity leave. The highly religious Forbes has of late looked increasingly uncomfortable in the ranks of the SNP Transgender Transphobia Party with their enthusiasm for imposing unisex toilets on primary schoolchildren and their outright obsession with enabling men dressed as women to use female changing rooms. Maybe she’ll decide to abandon ship and become a stay at home doting mum.

The ferries fiasco has some way to run, with new revelations emerging every day.

Rival politicians have branded it the worst SNP scandal for years.

The rest of us can only wonder at this drifting crew of knaves and fools, who can’t even get the construction of a couple of ferries right, thinking their Voyage of Discovery will lead us all into the uncharted territory of independence.

It’d be less risky trying to take a rowing boat around the Cape of Good Hope.

This leaves a large number of people clinging on desperately to the wreckage of their hopes for another referendum, with their heads still above water. Just about.

One thought on “Knaves and scoundrels aim to lead us on a Voyage of Discovery to land of milk and honey

  1. How I wish every voter in Scotland could see and read your columns on , Communist Krankie Sturgeon ,and all her dad’s army brigade in Holyrood .
    Your comments about them are the truth as it is , and not the gospel according to The Dodgy Dictator Sturgeon or Humpty Dumpty Blackford
    If there was an award for creating hatred in the UK they would get it the scumbags
    How can Trainee Accountant Kate Forbes and old Humpty Dumpty Blackford tell everybody they are Christians when they go to the press and TV and tell so many lies to suit their decisive anti government agenda ,shame on them ever entering a church door
    It’s strange whenever there is any SNP blunders or waste of taxpayers money they disappear almost as quick as the £600000 belonging to the Lidl kilt brigade supporters no word where that money went
    Still no sign of Peter Muddell yet ,where is he ?
    Fergus Rosie Cheeks Freeby Ewing ,is still conspicuous by his absence ever since his involvement with the Fort William Smelter saga ,he is gone, and has not even been back to clean up his office windows in Church Street they are filthy what does that tell you .
    Krankie has been very low key for a while now ,I think she is needing a holiday ,YES a permanent one , maybe she could take a Hop Scots break with Caledonian Macbraynes ferries that is she can find one that is running or built
    Some weeks ago I watched a fisherman on Barra complain about the service of the ferries to the island , I thought that his local MP Angus Macneil would have been on the media about it ,but did not see him ,perhaps he is on holiday
    Hamza Useless our NHS man goes about his visits very low key ,in fact his visit to Raigmore Hospital last week was so secretive and quick he was in and out quicker than the SAS would have been.
    Just a final thought Krankie could do a daily spot on the BBC giving all holiday makers an update on the ferry situation and Humpty Dumpty Blackford could appear at the end and tell all the English to F off .
    What a nice welcome from our scumbags in the SNP


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